Schooles have been closed for over 2 months and he loves the heck out of it. I say….do what makes you & your family comfortable! It is to the point that I am about to leave because of the arguing. I was 10 years old when my mom Lolita Bronson from Fresno California that’s her name asked me to start sleeping with her my mom had just divorce my dad I suggest you don’t do it things start happening . There are other families who keep the marital or parental door completely locked and off limits. This is what is wrong with the world today we let the kids do what they want an the parents are divorced quick because of this. If he even mowed the lawn once per year, that was all he did and you would have thought he’d painted the Sistine Chapel over how she raved over his efforts. And before you say, yes my son is now seeing a therapist. I wish my boyfriend will stop letting his soon to be 9yr old sleep with him…I refuse to so I sleep on the couch while being 7months pregnant. The next day you can tell he is exhausted, and looks very nervous and panicky. You agreed with her. My almost 10 year old has been sharing a bed with me since birth. But there is consensus on one point: that age can be different for each child. Listen women, if your lonely, buy a dog. I am a widow -- when my son was 4-years-old, my husband was tragically killed. I know one day he will be in his own room, so for now we’ll just enjoy these moments we have with him, even if it means we will have to cling to the edge of the bed. 1 day ago, by Mekishana Pierre There are so many messed up kids today. His father and I have no issues with this and eventually he will no longer ask to sleep with me, which will be sad for me but just because I’ll miss the snuggles. My great grand daughter sleeps just with her dad. Stfu and stop thinking about yourself. 1 6. I am tired. I have an 11 year old stepson who still sleeps with his mom in her bed when she has him and he wants to sleep in our bed with us (my husband) when he is at our house. This not only cause arguments between us but puts my 16 year old out of her room with no where to sleep. I feel she never had the patience to train him to sleep in his own bed. She is now 10 yrs old and I see issues that are created by this. But I really don’t know what to do, should I say something? I have a 49 year old boyfriend with a 17 yr old daughter who has the mentality of a 12 year old. My kids and i in another room. At times they have slept in my bed with clothes but they always ask me ahead of time. Soon I’m sure he won’t ever really do this again. But make sure you tell him what’s wrong before you leave him. I agree with your statement. It may be that he doesn’t. In our case the mother is a child therapist & during the divorce began sleeping with the oldest from 10 yrs to almost 13. Our co-sleeper sleeps with other kids when they are around instead of with Mom. I’ve seen it so many times. When families split up, blended families dating, it’s so much. After reading everyone and the article…ummm i say be a parent not a friend. You are parents & your children’s brains aren’t fully develpied until their 21. He sleeps just fine at friends and other families houses. Does anyone else feel this is the case? Thoughts? I’m 17 and my parents just got divorced. I speak from experience. What do you want me to do? He begs us every night to sleep with us saying He doesn’t like being alone. Like you know how they hop in the bed and go to sleep. . I find this not healthy for us as a couple so as important as his Son is Our relationship has had its time of strange allowances time for moving on . I know this sounds creepy. Please note, as this is a peer-to-peer discussion board, Netmums has not … And 9/10 I tell him I love him but he needs to sleep in his room. So, if you put a mattress in your room and don't mind laying with your child until they fall asleep and then getting back in bed...that might work.". Eating from his plate. Tell your parents you love them but you are growing up and need your space. I felt a bit weird, but It also was amazing feeling my young boys warmth, both of them close to me,pressed to me. :-)" Claudia G. had a similar experience: "I have a 13-year-old who slept with me until he was 10, now he's Mr. I don’t have my own child i need to worry for. So I’ve been sleeping on the couch for the past month!! Originally he was in every aspect of our privacy, he used to sleep with us nightly until I put my foot down and said if he is in the bed I won’t be. I’m from the Philippines. 2 days ago. So deciding when a child is too old to sleep with mom and dad becomes a judgment call. How about the teens like me who are forced to sleep with their mother because of financial issues? And obviously, there comes a point in a parent child relationship when privacy should be respected and separation should begin. I get home from work late at night and have to remove him to his own bed at circa 2 AM every night. Leave. (p.s. namestae. Many people talk about ‘people in other countries’ but last time I looked those same people lead very ‘American’ lives. Our Family newsletter is a little parenting cheat sheet, delivered to your inbox daily. It’s too bad you have to be the grown up in this situation, it should be their job to set healthy boundaries but you have yourself and your life to think about so just do that. Why should my child learn to sleep alone? There’re millions of other kids out there without proper shelter, talk less of someone to give you that level of attention. PS: the mom has anger issues & was a spouse beater. Living busy lives, every family bonds differently. I can’t really just block them out of my life, they are my wife’s family. Why there needs to be a fixed age for that? You are hindering their development and making their life confusing. She’s fifteen. Not exactly where you want to sleep, a stinky 11 year old boys bed! These are little things that children carry with them for security. Most co-sleeping arrangements come to an end at one point or another, whether by parental choice or that of the child. They have their own room, … How are they supposed to learn boundaries and also explore new & different things? He does no chores. Great Question thx For It…. May be a bit of a late response, but I can’t help but notice a lack of input from those who have slept with their parents when they were “too old” to be doing so; so I decided to throw in my own piece. When single mom Marianne D. had questions about whether it's okay for her 6-year-old son to continue sleeping with her, the overwhelming majority of the moms who responded (over 200 in … It’s just that I think it’s time for him to get into his own bed. No one should be judging as they have not lived in anyone else’s shoes. Parents should never shower or let their children see them naked On the other hand, a member in a similar thread on the Essential Kids forums says she … Our son does have boundary issues in my opinion and is severely dependent on his mother. I was baffled.. If any of you try to come for me or be hateful and your spelling and grammar are not good I won’t pay you any mind ). This is habit and routine Which for most people, it is not. I would not recommend. Just for the sake of couples’ needing a good time, pushing child for something he/she is not mentally and emotionally prepared for is lame excuse. I don’t know if her mother beats her (I assume not) but she’s excessively anxious and dependent on her mother. . He go an ac for the bedroom and I said Your son will want one in his room and he said why he can sleep with me .. You should go sleep in another room and let them bond if that’s what the son and father want. Bad parenting and not letting kids grow up and coddling them more than necessary. Every family has a different arrangement and set up in place. If the child is sleeping with mom or dad because mom or dad is sad and lonely, then it’s definitely not a healthy or positive event for a child of any age.” Morrison points out that it is not a child’s responsibility to console his parents. Is this a normal thing?? For more fortunate kids, I think bed-sharing, whatever you call it is fine, even if they have their own, wonderful room. Of course I would never want to sexualize anything but I know how men CAN wake up (not always) and it creeps me out to think he’s waking up with my daughter. And this is how I was molested. My kids have proved all of your statements wrong. So don’t scold her when she comes up pregnant at 13 years old. is the time for that not to be sleeping together in one bed that’s why they have houses with more than one bedroom. Last night was not one of those nights though when they asked me, so I was not prepared and I slept naked in my bed, but they both came to me anyways and said they had a nightmare . I’m not sure which came first: the dependency or the co-sleeping. and what can be done. I am lonely. But of course the earlier you set your boundaries the better off you will be. Mom & dad are not married or living together. Do hell with your concept of let the child sleep alone, and all those psychological factors of child’s growth related to that. This boys mother would rather appease him than deal with the fussing. If this current generation is to be wiped out, mine will go down fighting like not just a soldier, but like one who knows he must return home to raise and look after his own family. I love him so much and don’t want to be mean and just kick him out, but I worry it’s making him too dependent on me and not appropriate for his age level. I’m 13 and this may sound weird coming from a teenager but I haven’t been able to sleep lately, and then I go and wake up my mum and dad and see if I can sleep with them. She’s 11 his 56. Now he’s 17, every time he visits he likes to cuddle for a few minutes in the morning and he gets up. I feel that I am independent to a degree and don’t find it a problem . To make matters worse, when we have a disagreement she will move her son back into our bed knowing that it gets under my skin. Hm? He is almost 2 and dose great on the toilet. He comes and get in my husband’s and my bed if he wakes at night. I enjoy my sleep naked and won’t let no kid in this world take that away from me. I do spend a little time with my kids, but they developing into independent adults in a couple yrs. I have gotten her to stop letting him sleep in our room, so she goes in his room to sleep with him at least 2 nights a week. We have a German shepherd dog that we own. ", If you are married or in a relationship, and having kids in the bed every night is causing problems with your partner, it can be a tough choice. Pls don’t act as if you know anything. Does he have any friends? The Bible says marriage is honerable and the bed undefined… it is for married husbands and wives. Now the son cant sleep. This topic at times becomes a heated argument between my wife and me. In my strongest conviction, allowing this to continue, you replace the connection that should be growing with your spouse with your child. He was my daddy, and the time we had together will always be kept very close to heart. In her response on the issue, Becky H. agrees that co-sleeping is "nothing to worry about" with young children, and paraphrases the perspective of her state's social services agency: "when the male child begins to show interest (like mommy is different than me) or [is] beginning to be curious about his own gender (why does my friend not sleep in his mommy's bed? I was a daughter forced to sleep with my mom for 17 years till I went to college (and then every time I came home for summers, holidays, etc.). According to the Family Law Association, differences in belief on co-sleeping especially as older, opposite sex parents are concerned is often a point of contention. Yup, it will last until she is 13, at which point she will be sleeping in bed with every 14 year old boy that she comes across. Don’t damage your children. You’re the parents that’s your child… during normal awake times is when you show your child affection not during sleeping hours. When his friends come over, he sleeps in his own bed and they sleep in the other bunkbed so he can def. Meanwhile, I cooked and cleaned every day from age nine onward and to this day, I resent all I was forced to do under complete tyranny, PLUS I couldn’t even have my own space. Until I was about 12 I would often sleep over with a friend of his when he was away for work. After swearing my child would not end up in my bed…he ended up there. My boyfriend seem to think that it is okay to sleep with his 9 year old daughter. Privacy, independence, sexuality (exploring their bodies, realizing their parents need their private intimate alone time) being able to COPE with being alone. if your child sleeps with you you than you should put them to bed by themselves when they turn @ least 5. I just recently found out that my 55 year old mother-in-law has been sharing her bed with her adult 20 year old daughter for the last month and a half and I am completely weirded out by it. 5. Cheshire reloaded. Recent studies indicate that near-epidemic proportions of children are co-sleeping with parents today. I even told him I felt uncomfortable, and yet he did nothing.. his son would try to sleep with us too, but he would tell him no, but never his daughter. Reading this article makes me wonder if his parents put their foot down then, maybe my nephew could wound up with a better outcome in life. When your kids are young, the convenience and security of the family bed can easily outweigh the negatives. I don’t have issues sleeping by myself at 22, but it is easier to sleep with someone there. I have the same situation. And I mean none. Wow! Sometimes its just easier to nurse a baby when they are in bed with you. He is now 20 and cant keep a job. When u said she is sleeping with is, he said no and that she needed to sleep elsewhere. You will sleep in your bed, in your own room little fella, even if there’s a monster in there. I guess I just feel like I am missing out so I cherish the time we have together but your absolutely correct. Ok then you are one weirdo! Also I’m sorry if this is a double post, it didnt seem as though the last one got posted. My half sister came down from another state to live with my dad and the share a room/ bed permanently. Tuesday night she slept with him, not because of weather, just because it was his night… I think this whole co-sleeping thing is destroying his independence, his mental stability, and is forcing him to rely on others to sleep. My boyfriends 10 year old sone still sleeps with his mother every night at home and her husband sleeps in another room. He’s getting big. Fast forward 7 1/2 years later, we’re divorced. Just Because she wanted to. How to stop co-sleeping with your newborn to 18-month-old The good news is your baby’s sleep habits are still highly adaptable at this age, but to train your infant to be comfortable in their own bassinet or crib, you’ll need to be consistent about making sure that all sleep happens in that space. My 10-year old son sleeps with us. I will never agree with that kind of stuff. Or, on the flipside, how does a co-sleeper go to a friend’s for a sleepover? Sorry for so many spelling errors.. obviously I did not do spell check! I have argued the issue with him and her and he feels until she has a bed at his house that it’s ok and apparently she’s been sleeping with him since he divorced. And if it still bothers no, no-one said you have to accept it. You’re almost 13 years old, and it’s time to grow up a bit. Parent’s talk.) And why would she? My mum and sister say that once she becomes a teen she won’t want to sleep with her dad and will find the idea icky. Best of luck. My niece is in a similar situation as you were. I still always tried to sleep in bed with him, and occasionally he would me. I think it’s just about the weirdest thing ever and I don’t understand. He seems to feel he is entitled to all the luxuries and perks that all the adults have accumulated thru their years of hard work and saving. Save your children people. Why not according to child’s comfort and needs make this happen? I know this is true because I lived there for years. In March of 2007, the New York Times published a research article on this very subject. After my nephew was born, he was cosleeper until about 11, I always said there’s no way I would do that! Let the child feel the need of freedom and space to sleep alone. Is he able to leave the house without his hand being held? Not only does she see him naked, sleep with him, but she also doesn’t have any chores at his house, because he makes his son do it all, and when he would talk about doing things, and going olaces, he would always say he needs to bring his daughter, but never his son.. Is it me, or is this a little strange?? A child should be sleeping independently regardless of their sex, by the age of 2 unless the parent is bent on 'attachment parenting. Should I allow is to break up my marriage and be better off alone? He ditched school and was a bully when he went. Hi! I have started to read articles like this one to get more information. He has my 13 year old nephew that recently moved in and sleeps on the bottom bunk, so at least he has company in his room now. Plenty of bedrooms and beds. Hes 19 now. Any advice? When my dad was home though I would almost always sleep in bed with him, anytime he was around really I basically attached myself to his hip lol. I’m not usually nasty like this at all, I also hate to brag, but think of the teens, again like myself, who have no choice but to share a small bedroom with their mother, father, parents, whatever really. By the way, we have a great, loving family. He was with his father this weekend and slept Friday through Sunday night with him, wanted to sleep with his mom on Monday night, but fell asleep in his own bed before she got in there. But I have noticed that it is getting harder and harder to get him out of my bed (he reads books in it, watches TV in it, it is a very comfortable king size bed). Sick kids are so hard to see when your a patent. He is doting on the daughter – she is the “golden child” – and putting everything bad on the son – he is the “scapegoat.” The way this dynamic works, your kids will end up being scapegoated as well – as you saw when your daughter tried to get in bed with you because she was not feeling good and he wasn’t having it. I don’t see anything wrong with it. It took me until he was about 10 yrs old to get him in his own bed. I just learned they share the same bed him and I are intimate in. Subscribe my Newsletter for new blog posts, tips & new photos. Unnatural to me! This dad is protecting both children/teens. Made me have homosexual tenancies. I’m that sort of parent, if a child trips on his/her own feet and starts crying, the look they get from me is enough to make them wish they never came into this world in the first place. Take It One Step at a Time. I have read about legal problems in this area including criminal investigation. I am all for co sleeping. Wow, where does the line get drawn?? What needs to be addressed are the issues that surround the co sleeping. It strongly depends on the relationship you have to your child. Sorry but if be pissed too. Sometimes he would have a “friend over” or would just tell me I had to sleep in my own room because he needed some adult time. Not dad and daughter. How I see it, this “window” of time is going to grow smaller & smaller as she gets a little older & than I am going to be missing it that much more! When he comes to my house he now vomits at bed time, and in bed. Or camp? That shower reference is so stupid it makes my brain hurt. For this I will never sleep in the same bed as my step son and if necessary I will move to another room to sleep. Lays on top of him on the lay back chair. You don’t go playing with your friends and come in crying when the neighbour’s own child is giving you hard times, no. The very IDEA she thought it would be okay for me to share her bed and the bedroom with her instead of finding a rental with three bedrooms. There also comes a time in a marriage where co-sleeping will greatly, if not gravely affect the marital relationship. Everything you described is inappropriate to the max. He would be naked, showing it all in front of his 11 year old daughter.. it was so incredibly uncomfortable for me to be in there while she is in there and he is naked, and it was no big deal to either of them. If they are developmental in nature as it pertains to older children, then something needs to be done. I think they just didn’t want to sleep with each other, which is fine, but I was the one who suffered for it because they didn’t want to change or get used to even a small thing for my benefit. …now you see how this selfish/convenient behavior of parenting has mentally injured this child. She is used to sleeping with someone and doesn’t feel that it is fair that you get to sleep with someone while she sleeps alone. He has 50/50 custody of his children, so it’s not like he doesn’t get to see them. Men are frowned on to co-sleep with their daughters and likewise should be for women with sons, at this age. He is ok if i leave or dont sleep in there but we laugh and have our best talks the last hour before bed. Pamela W. adds that you should not use your child to replace having a partner in bed: "you may want to consider what it may mean for YOUR dependency on his company in bed, and go from there in whatever choice you make. These children are basically raising themselves. That is right you can’t because the kid is in your bed. I told my hubby let the dog sleep in the room with him! Both my kids slept with my husband (their father) and me until both were ~8. he was even using our master bathroom when he and his 14 year old sister have their own, and the extra bathroom was always available. These parents need to stop thinking about what they want and instead think about what’s best for the kids and if they do the right thing early on enough the kid will never even want to do those things or be dependent on them in the first place it really effects their development. Doug, you must not have a lot experience with the world then, parents can have sex with each other outside of “bed time” and away from their child(ren) at the same time. The practice of parents co-sleeping with their children (sharing the bed with their child or sleeping on different cots in the same room) is quite old, especially in the Eastern cultures where the family is considered above an individual. Aren’t you afraid they’ll live with you forever because they know no other way? My husband works out of town every once and a while and my daughter and I like the comfort of each other through the night. Sadly it makes me not really look forward to him coming because I know it’s hands of and separate sleeping for us. You need a degree DeeDee and I’m sure CPS has already been to your house several times.. Humorous that the intelligence level is sooooo loooowwww and nauseating. I would think not! He holds her hand.I walk behind them. He is an only child. I loved my dad, and cherished every bit of time I got to spend around him when he was off work. I worked odd retail hours, and at first thought I was being supportive of breastfeeding by sleeping in the guest room when I would get home late. Bottom line is that at some point your child will NOT sleep with you any longer. Our bed is our bed not a family bed. My husband, (his father) wound up sleeping in my sons bed. My partner’s 8 year old daughter gets into bed with us most nights, although she has got better about sleeping in her own bed, but still seems to do it out of habit, I asked her the other night what was wrong and she said nothing. But, I only knew my friends father to be a very good man, so I trusted it was not a bad thing. We have a ruitinee bed time. When he was 4 I thought surely this can’t last much longer. Circle of Moms member Leea S. feels that single moms should consider the impact it could have on your child if you do begin an intimate relationship down the road: "Do you kick your child out of your bed now that you have a new spouse to share your bed? Other families houses their father ) wound up sleeping in our bed fella, even what age should child stop sleeping with parents 's! Morning and he hops right in the livingroom just stand by and my parents just got.... S so much room ” if we use our tent parenting and not disciplining him and then himself. 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